Do you find your loved one incredibly talented and accomplished, and yet they always doubt themselves and dismiss their achievements? It’s painful to witness the toll that impostor syndrome takes on the confidence and mental well-being of someone you love and respect. By learning how to effectively support someone with impostor syndrome, you can help them overcome their self-doubt and embrace their true potential. Let’s explore some ways you can be there for someone struggling with impostor syndrome.

What is Impostor Syndrome? 

Impostor syndrome is an internal psychological condition where individuals doubt their abilities and feel like “a fraud”, despite evidence of their success. People with impostor syndrome often attribute their success to luck, timing, or external factors, rather than acknowledging their own skills and qualifications. They feel that they don’t deserve their accomplishments and fear that they will be found out to be inadequate. 

Common Signs of Someone Struggling With Impostor Syndrome

1. Lack of Confidence

Your loved ones have low self-esteem and struggles to internalise their achievements. They constantly seek validation and reassurance from others. Self-sabotage becomes a way of maintaining a sense of familiarity and control over their negative self-image.

2. Fear of Not Living Up to Expectations 

Your loved ones often compare themselves to others and believe that everyone else is more competent or deserving of success. They are worried that if they don’t meet the expectations, they will be exposed as frauds and face criticism or rejection from those around them. 

3. Only Perfection, No Mistakes

Your loved ones must always be perfect and set impossibly high standards for themselves. They think making minor mistakes will reveal their incompetent self to others. If you notice that they overwork and go beyond to prove themselves, it could be a sign.

4. It’s Not Their Effort, But Pure Luck

Your loved ones are constantly dismissing their achievements, attributing them to situational factors beyond their control such as coincidence or good luck. When someone compliments them, they have a hard time accepting it and refuse to acknowledge their hard work and talent.

What Causes Impostor Syndrome?

1. Family Upbringing

Growing up in an environment where accomplishments are heavily emphasised and mistakes are not tolerated can create a fear of not meeting expectations and a belief that success is only temporary.

2. Personality

High self-criticism and perfectionism can contribute to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. There are some personality types that are linked to internalising feelings of pressure and failure.

3.Sense of Belonging

If your loved ones feel excluded from their friend group or in the workplace, it can cause them to question their deservingness to be there, their capabilities, and their competence.

How to Provide Support to Your Loved Ones with Impostor Syndrome?

1. Validate Their Feelings

If your loved ones often blame themselves for their shortcomings or insecurities, validating their feelings will help them feel heard and understood. This will show them that their struggles are valid and that they are not alone. Letting them know that it’s okay to experience these feelings and that it doesn’t define them can alleviate their self-doubt and minimise feelings of shame. 

2. Offer Reassurance 

Recognising and highlighting their achievements and strengths can help to build their confidence. For example, you can point out specific instances where your loved ones have succeeded or made valuable contributions to help them see the evidence of their capabilities. Offering words of encouragement and positive affirmations will also provide a sense of support. You can emphasise that they didn’t stumble upon success by accident, but it was rather the result of their dedication, skills, and perseverance.

3. Foster a Supportive Environment

Creating a safe and non-judgmental space where your loved ones can openly discuss their feelings can reduce the emotional burden they are carrying. It’s important to practice active listening by giving them your full attention and reflecting back on their experiences. You can also celebrate their accomplishments, be it big or small, by taking them out for a meal. This will reinforce their self-worth and motivate them to continue overcoming impostor syndrome.

4. Encourage Self-Compassion 

Always remind your loved ones to be kind to themselves and challenge their negative self-talk. You can help them understand that mistakes are part of the learning process and their worth as a person is more than their achievements. Encouraging them to participate in self-care activities such as relaxation, exercise, and hobbies will promote their overall well-being by nurturing positive emotions and foster a mindset of self-acceptance.

5. Seek Professional Help

Impostor syndrome can be damaging to your loved one’s mental health. You may encourage them to seek professional help, like going to therapy. A therapist will provide valuable guidance and support tailored to their specific needs. At The Pillars, our licensed therapist can help your loved ones navigate challenges of impostor syndrome in their personal and professional lives. We offer tools and techniques in managing anxiety, building self-confidence, and developing resilience.

Conclusion

Supporting someone who is struggling with impostor syndrome requires empathy, understanding, and a commitment to their well-being. Remember to be patient and consistent in your support because it takes time for your loved ones to fully embrace their worth and abilities. Start today because your role as a source of encouragement and guidance can make a significant impact on their journey towards self-acceptance and success.